Matthew 17:19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not drive it out?”
I am identifying with them.
Failure.
It wraps like a heavy shroud around me – weighting my mind. And I chasten myself — what is wrong with you!?
20 And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith;
I can trust Him to tell me the hard truth, can’t I?
for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.
Even changing me from a woman who feels like a failure? Who year after year prays for the same thing? Prays for the same change because the change in her does not come?
Yes. Even that — for nothing will be impossible for me IF I believe.
21 [“But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”]
It was a demon spirit the Disciples could not cast out. I am surmising here then that the Disciples had not done enough praying and fasting to rid themselves of their unbelief and because of that they could not cast out the demon spirit.
Shall I dare accept that I have not the change for which I have prayed because I have not heretofore been willing to do the hard work it will take? The consistent day after day hard work of praying and fasting from my own unbelief? And what am I not believing? What I am asking for may give me a clue to this particular unbelief.
If any of this is resonating with you, I don’t have the answer for you, just pointing you in the same direction I am going — JESUS.
JESUS, I’m listening. Amen and amen.
Holy hugs, kt
The White Stone 